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Stella’s Fury

We were making our annual trip to “Bird’s on Roof” to meet my family for my annual birthday dinner. Okay, Bird’s on Roof is not the real name of the restaurant, it’s really Champlain’s, but my kids have called it that for years and I’m not even sure they know the real name. But, whatever, on with the story of Stella’s fury.
We were driving and Stella and Maizie were asleep, but Teddy (who really needed a nap) wasn’t. He was holding Stella’s beloved doll, Lola. (The one that needs the baby sitter.) I look at him and he’s really concentrating on something; then I realize that the sewn on bow have been pulled out of Lola’s head. Oh boy, this may get ugly fast.
This is Lola and the bow
He was trying to get these strings

into these holes…NEVER going to happen!

I tap him on the leg and whispered, “What are you doing?” He said he was going to put it back on. That was NOT going to happen. Then it happened, Stella woke up.
The first thing I said to her was, “You know your brother loves you very much, right?” She said she knew that. Then I said, “You love your brother very much don’t you?” Once again she said she did. I said, “Okay, just remember that.” The whole time this conversation is going on, Ted and I are trying to hold it together in the front seat.
Then we heard it. A huge GASP of disbelief and horror and combined into one, I should be disappointed in Ted and my reaction because we absolutely fell apart laughing, but I’m not. We knew it was coming.

When she first saw it

Holding them tight

Pure devastation (my picture taking wasn’t helping)

She was so mad at him; she didn’t know what to do. He really felt terrible about it. Truth be told, I’m surprised that bow lasted as long as it did.

He feels really bad

She kept her thumb in her mouth so she wouldn’t hit him

Ted said to her, “Hey Stell, you know all that sewing you’ve been practicing? Now you can try it on Lola.” That made her feel a little better. Good thing this all happened five minutes from the restaurant.
We got there and once she realized that a bunch of family was there, she loosened up. I guess I’m going to have to figure out a way to get that filthy bow back on Lola’s head.

For more stories head over to The Mommyhood Chronicles

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful for my collection of metal bowls. They have been put to good use this week. For some reason the kids have decided to randomly throw up. It doesn’t seem like they have an actual stomach bug, but they have hoarked for, which seems like, no apparent reason. One they take a nap, they’re fine. I wish I have the ability to boot and rally like that.
I am thankful for hot showers and “feel better bubbles”. If you’re a Kraus kid and you cover yourself in your own sick, you immediately get a hot bath or shower. The bath always consists of “feel better bubbles”. Did you know that they contain a magical substance that sucks the sick right out of you, that’s why your fingers get wrinkly really fast when you’re sick. Whatever works!
I am thankful that my kids (Teddy and Stella) seem to have no fear in the middle of the night. They walk through a dark house and poke the sleeping bear; then have the nerve to argue with that angry, overtired, annoyed beyond belief bear.
I am thankful that Memorial Day is this weekend. That means beach season is upon us. Too bad I’m nowhere ready to get this body into a bathing suit (I also have no idea where they are). Oh well, I look better than I did last year.
I am thankful I don’t have to fight with my kids to eat fruits and vegetables. I have to fight with my kids NOT to eat MY salad (while I’m trying to eat it). When I’m cutting vegetables around the kids, close to half of them can disappear before they make it into a bowl.

I Have Become a Zombie Mom

I can’t remember the last time I was able to sleep through the night. I don’t have to get up to go to the bathroom, I don’t have a stuffy nose keeping me up; I have three kids that roam the halls and find joy in disturbing my slumber.
Stella makes a nightly visit, dragging her pillow because “she had a bad dream”. At first I felt terrible for her and would let her in right away. The problem is, she is THE WORST kid to sleep with. She hogs my pillow, she kicks and she is just downright unpleasant to have in the bed when you’re trying to sleep. I think she caught on, now when she comes down I think BULLSHIT, you just want to interrupt my precious and very elusive slumber.
Teddy has a habit of coming downstairs in the middle of the night to watch TV. So I locked the cable from 1:30AM until 5:30AM. Because of that, he will just stand there staring at me until I get out of bed and punch in the code, it’s creepy and I’m WAY TOO tired to argue at 3AM. (I should just unlock it, but I just keep forgetting to do it.)
Monday night I heard Teddy come in and I thought he was going to tell me he couldn’t sleep and wanted to watch TV. Then I heard it, at the foot of my bed (every mom knows that sound) I sat up and he’s throwing up on my floor like a frat guy at the end of a bender. I grab my garbage can (thank goodness Past Heather was kind to Future Heather and actually put a bag in it) and he continues hurling in there.
I’m trying to wake up Ted who is sound asleep. I shook him and said Teddy was throwing up and he said, “OK.” No, it’s not! As Teddy’s holding the garbage can I am right over Ted’s body and I am making sure he is focusing and I say, “Teddy- is- throwing- up- all- over -our -room.” He pulled himself together and gave Teddy a shower.
Yesterday I tried to take a nap because of the traumatic events of the night before. I didn’t have to worry about bringing Teddy to school or picking up Maizie because Ted was going to do that. I go and lie down on my bed, get all cozy and every time I start to drift off that douche of a dog came and woke me up. She’s lucky she’s still living with us.

I was very disappointed with her behavior

On to last night. Stella made her nightly trip with her pillow and said she needed to sleep downstairs. I told her there was no way she was sleeping in my bed. She said she wanted to sleep on the couch; at this point I didn’t care. Then she had the nerve to start arguing with me over what she was going to watch on TV. Listen little girl, you’re not getting a choice, you’re lucky I’m even putting it on.
This morning she tells me that the germs are back (she was throwing up on Sunday; Maizie exiled herself ). I told her to move to the little couch, because I wanted to sit and have my coffee. Then she asks if applesauce is good when you have “the germs”. It is, it part of that BRAT diet, so I gave her some. She yakked it up all over herself. That is what lead me to this post.
I don’t see much sleep in my future.

Thanksgiving Meatballs

I have a thing for meatloaf. I make it all the time, it all shapes and sizes. Name a form; I’ve probably made it (free form, loaf pan, mini, muffins, pie plate, etc). One of my kids was asking for meatballs and another wanted rice. So I thought, why not have both? I only have ground turkey and I wasn’t in the mood for red sauce (or a gravy…some of you know what I’m talking about) so I decided on, what I call, Thanksgiving Meatballs (I have a whole bunch of “Thanksgiving” meals).
This is what you need:
The necessities
1 package of ground turkey
2 celery stalks
2 carrots
2 onions
1 T poultry seasoning
1 egg
¼ c panko or breadcrumbs
Cranberry sauce
In a food processor chop the celery, carrots and onion very fine. 
All chopped
Put into a large bowl; add the ground turkey, poultry seasoning, egg and breadcrumbs. Mix together with your hands (nastiest part about this). 
Mixed and ready to roll
Roll into meatballs (size of the balls is your own personal preference; I don’t want to know what goes on in your kitchen). I bake them on cookie sheets lined with foil (the less cleaning I have to do the better). 
Into the oven we go

Bake them in a 375 oven for 20-25 minutes for smallish balls up to 40 minutes for larger balls. Be sure to check them, no one wants an undercooked turkey meatball!
Who doesn’t love a tasty meatball, especially one that tastes like Thanksgiving dinner?

Get fancy and serve them with easy Thanksgiving sides. I served sweet potatoes, cranberry, gravy and green beans (NOT casserole…it was a weekday). Because there was also a demand for rice, we had that too.


Teddy’s Love Affair

Teddy is in love, they meet every week day morning at 11am. I don’t know how he is going to handle next school year when he is at school during this precious rendezvous time, he might actually give into more sick days. You see, Teddy is in love with The Price is Right.


I introduced them one morning a few months ago and wasn’t sure if they would hit it off, did they ever; they have been inseparable since. We have actually had fist fights in the kitchen over whether or not TPIR was going to be on the TV during lunch. You see, Stella does not feel the same way about Teddy’s new love.
He yells, he hoots and he hollers. He has not found a game he doesn’t like (although he only thinks the Range Finder is OK, really does anyone like that one?). When Ted and I watch with him, he is amazed we know how to play the games, how many times do I have to tell him, it’s a REALLY old show. He loves it so much; he even watches it on You Tube.
He enjoys every game they play and he thinks the prizes are spectacular. He was really impressed when one guy won a trip to Boston, he went on and on. I had to tell him that we can go to Boston anytime we want; it is only an hour away.
I had come home from bringing Maizie to school and the TV was paused; TPIR is coming to Twin River (or if you’re truly from around these parts, The Track). He quickly informed me of its impeding arrival and how he HAD TO GO. Then I had to break his six year old heart, he wasn’t eighteen, complete devastation. What was he going to do?
Since his utter disappointment, there have been several questions concerning the production of the show; When is it? Where is it? He has now come up with a plan. On his eighteenth birthday, we (him and I, maybe the other three) are going to TPIR and he is going to be on and if he wins any “lady stuff” he will give it to me (isn’t he sweet?).

Maizie’s Self Imposed Exile

In the middle of the night, Teddy came downstairs and told me he couldn’t sleep. Nothing new, so I told him to go back up to bed. I fell back to sleep for a few minutes and then had an eerie, creepy feeling. Teddy was just standing there, staring at me in the dark like Children of the Damned.
I told him to go on the couch and he then reminded me that the TV was locked. I came milliseconds away from giving him the code, but dragged my tired, unable to see ass out of bed in the middle of the night to punch in the code. If not he would stand there until 5:30AM when the TV unlocks (like the guys did on the porch in Fight Club).
Then later on, Stella made her nightly pilgrimage down to my bedroom. The night before I had the worst night sleep in a long time because she kicks and twists and turns and just hogs the entire king sized bed and I just did not want her in there. I sent her to the other couch with Teddy.
A little while later, the little girl who cried wolf came back in and told me she “didn’t feel good”. This was her fifth ailment of the night and the fourth time I was had been woken up (I was the most pleasant mother at this point). I told her to go to sleep.
I fell back to sleep and then Teddy woke me up a fifth time, this time to tell me that Stella threw up. You have got to be shitting me. I get out of bed (barely able to walk because I’m so tired) and grab a bowl, the cleaner, paper towels, a hair elastic and a towel. I make my way into the living room and it wasn’t as bad as I expected. I clean up, give her the bowl, give Teddy instructions to get me if she does it again and go back to bed.
It happened three more times. Then I hear Maizie get up, this is not going to be good.
I can hear something going on in my room, but since I once again didn’t get to sleep I’m still in bed (in my defense it is 6:30AM on a Sunday morning). She went in the living room, saw “the bowl” and that was the end of it; she won’t set foot in the living room for the rest of the day. She was sitting on the floor of my room reading a book and playing with the dog.
I gave her my tablet and she went upstairs. She will occasionally sit on the stairs and talk to us from just around the bend where she can’t see down into the kitchen. If she’s feeling brave, she’ll lie on the stairs and poke her head around to watch the kitchen TV.

Ted decided to make pancakes for breakfast and Stella was disappointed but at least she knew enough not to try to eat them. She asked for a special batch be made and put aside for her to have tomorrow (I foresee a problem tomorrow morning). Maizie came to deliver my breakfast and wouldn’t even step near the threshold into the living room.
I have asked her in the past, “What are you going to do when your kids are sick?” She always replies, “Call Daddy.” She’s going to be in for a rude awakening when her kid randomly pukes up a whole bottle all over her.

What Did You Say?

These are some conversations that have taken place the past couple of weeks. Sometimes I wish my entire day was recorded because I know I am forgetting a whole lot of gems.
A cop drove by.
Stella: Someone called the HoHo?
Me: It’s PoPo and it looks that way.
After having a bowl of cereal and 2 packets if oatmeal.
Teddy: I’m so hungry.
Me: What do you want?
Teddy: Food.
Me: Did you get your shoes on?
Teddy: No. (He left the room to go get them 5 minutes ago)
Me: I’ve asked you 3 times.
Teddy: It’s raining hard out.
Me: So, you’re going to go barefoot?
I’m trying to make supper. Stella comes over to me.
Stella: I need to do something private.
Me: What?
Stella: Can you go?
Me: What?
Stella: I need to do something private in here.
Me: I’m in the middle of making supper and you want me to leave the kitchen so you can do something private? You’re 5, how much privacy do you need?
Stella: COME ON!!
Me: Not going to happen.
I caught her, she wanted to put Equal in her water.
Stella: See that tiny white dot on my finger?
Me: (Not seeing anything) Yea.
Stella: When you were at work, Teddy and Maizie pushed me and I fell into a mousetrap behind the stove and it bled everywhere.
Me: Really?
Stella: Yea, Daddy fixed it because you know, Daddy fixes everything.
I haven’t left the house to go to work in over two years and to the best of my knowledge, there has never been a mouse trap behind the stove (I haven’t bought any, I should know).
Me: If you get that shirt dirty, I swear you’re going to go to school in the same outfit everyday.
Teddy: I don’t want to go to school like a cartoon character.
Maizie: Where are you going after you drop me off?
Me: (walking to the car) I’m not going anywhere, I’m still in my pajamas.
Maizie: Oh my God Ma, why are you still wearing your pajamas?
Me: I’ve got three kids that don’t leave me alone. I don’t even remember the last time I took a shower.
Maizie: This is so embarrassing.

For more stories go to The Mommyhood Chronicles

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful Teddy has no filter. He says what he wants when he wants and I am especially grateful it happens at the most inopportune times. Like telling the female cashier what a nice man she is to asking if the people in the car are Japanese, I’m always on my toes and always shocked.
I am thankful that Stella is so tech savvy that she can hardly go 45 minutes without using my tablet, phone or computer. If, God forbid, I say “no” I get to endure foot stomping, pouting, yelling and “You don’t love me” out bursts; the joys of being Stella’s mom.
I am thankful for sun tea. I love iced tea, not sweet tea (that makes me gag), the kind you put in a jar and leave out in the sun all day and enjoy later on. I put some out this morning and I can’t wait until I can have some. I did have to answer an assload of questions from Teddy but once he tries it maybe in the future he will just let me make it.

I can’t wait to dive into this

I am thankful that Ted is now hooked on Candy Crush, now I am not alone in my anguish of being stuck on a level (or having just one jelly left that I just can’t get).
I am thankful for not having to get Maizie ready for school today because the kids have dentist appointments. Teddy is still hoping he will be out of there in time to make it to school (afternoon kindergarten), but by the time we get there Maizie would be considered “officially absent” so I’m not stressing about it. They are oddly excited to go, they keep discussing what flavor treatment they’re going to get, what color toothbrush, what color balloon and what prize from the treasure box…so many exciting decisions (I’m hoping for no cavities and they brush well enough).
For more Thankful Thursdays head over to Baby Gator’s Den

20 Reasons My Kids Fight

I started this post a while ago (even before “Why is my kid crying”) and whenever I get ready to actually sit and write/post it; my kids inspire me to add to this ever growing list of reasons why they are fighting. Then when I’m ready, there’s a fight or a problem and I just can’t get to it. I’m sure there are hundreds, possibly thousands more, but here is a glimpse into their reasoning.

  1. One of them let the dog in.
  2. One of them can run faster.
  3. We’re reading in someone else’s room tonight.
  4. The rest of the couch is available.
  5. My lap is occupied.
  6. One of them is using the yoga mat.
  7. Someone has to sit in the “way back”.
  8. It’s time to go to school.
  9. Come to think of it, it’s time to go anywhere.
  10. The TV show that is on
  11. The chair/spot at the table
  12. I let them use my computer/tablet/phone.
  13. Someone’s copying someone.
  14. Someone won’t give someone a hug.
  15. Shoes are lost.
  16. We’re watching a soccer game.
  17. They’re sitting next to each other.
  18. My phone rang.
  19. It’s dinner time.
  20. HOMEWORK!! !


Thankful Thursday

I am thankful that my kids like (or should I say love) salad, but once in a while I would like to eat my own salad in peace and in its entirety.
I am thankful that Stella makes up her own mind about things she wants, especially her outfits; with that comes an inability to change her mind. There are days we go out with some dandies. She did find and check out Tim Gunn’s Fashion Bible from the library last week.
I’m not sure she followed any rules

She’s making it work

I am thankful Stella had a fantastic time at her party. I can’t say I’m thrilled to have all the sundae bar left overs. I have had a sundae every night this week and we’re not talking a small one either. I guess I can welcome those 5 pounds back.

This will help me find my 5 lost pounds

I am thankful they serve breakfast at school. There are some days (like today) when Maizie just cannot pull it together in time to eat at home, or should I say drink a glass of milk because that’s all she is willing to have.
I am thankful that Teddy is so into health and fitness, but I don’t need to feel his muscle every time he does some pushups. We have no dedicated Friday to weigh in and muscle feeling day, he cannot ask me to feel his muscle until Friday. His quest for a beach body is leaving hand prints all over my walls.
He must do well over 100 “push ups” a day

For more Thankful Thursdays head on over to Baby Gator’s Den