Category: list

Missing: All the Things I Need Daily

A few years ago I wrote about The Nine Most Lost Items in my House. Well, just like my kids, that list has grown. So I’ve decided to revise it.

I have tried to keep myself and kids organized, but I’m failing miserably. For some reason, nothing ends up where it belongs.

The original 9 are still major problems…

  • Brushes/Combs
  • Tools
  • Tape Measure
  • Shoes
  • Pens/Pencils
  • Socks
  • Nail Clippers/Nail File
  • Hair Elastics
  • Broom/Dust Pan

Now let me add to the ever growing list.

Teddy’s Glasses/His Case  He loses one of these at least twice a week. He frequently leaves his case at school (then I have to hope he can find it). His glasses have been left in the strangest places all over the house. The only way he has found them is because one of the girls or I noticed them and remembered where we saw them.

Surprise, Surprise they were in the case
Surprise, Surprise they were in the case

Lunch Bag  One of the Kraus Kids has lost two, yes two, lunch bags this school year. Don’t ask how, I have no clue. I guess this kid doesn’t want to eat anymore.

 

My Phone  One would think with what I do I would know where my phone is, since I need it all the time. Nope. The worst part is when my husband is at work and I can’t have him call it, we got rid of the landline. I spend quite a bit of time hunting it down (usually in the couch cushion).

 

Homework/School Papers  I can’t tell you how many times I say, “Put it in your back pack.” Come morning, we’re all searching for someone’s homework, field trip paper, or folder.

This folder is in a chair between two other bags. Will it be found in the morning?
This folder is in a chair between two other bags. Will it be found in the morning?

Scissors  I have five pairs of scissors, but I can never find a pair when I need it. There should be two in the kitchen, two in my desk and one in my bedroom. There’s usually a scissor crisis when I’m elbow deep in a project.

I could only find ONE pair
I could only find ONE pair

Scotch Tape  I buy this stuff by the crateful. I know exactly who is responsible for this one, Stella. She uses it for her “projects” and “inventions”. If I need any, I check her bedroom desk first.

 

Sports Equipment/Uniforms  I try to get there game uniforms ready the night before because it’s absolute chaos on game mornings. When everything WAS right there and suddenly it’s not, my head is in danger of exploding. On practice nights there is ALWAYS one piece of equipment missing, it never ends.

 

Of all the things that go missing, I think the pencils missing during homework time drives me crazy the most often.

 

What do you lose in your house?

 

What is a Snow Day?


They are different for everyone. I used to kind of like them when I was a teacher, as long as it was only a couple. Then when I only had one kid in school they were okay. Even when two were in school I didn’t mind as much. Now that three kids are in school, I have mixed emotions about them.
I like the fact that I can leave a package of donuts on the counter the night before and they can get their own breakfast and not wake me up. (Whenever there’s going to be snow I buy a box of donuts.) That about sums up the good part; not getting up and hustling three kids to school. The rest can (not always) be torture (on me).
The kids want to play video games, which is fine until one of them (I won’t name names) spends all the time changing her hat and won’t go on the quests, or whatever it is they do.
The calm before the storm

One of them will take the Skylander off the portal at an integral part of the game causing some sort of catastrophic event in the life of the other.
One won’t play Barbies with another.
When they do finally go play Barbies and/or Monster High the room is left like an F5 tornado hit it.
I usually forget I need to feed them lunch (they eat at school) until they complain at 2pm.
There are arts and craft supplies on every surface of the house (not much different from a weekend).
The dog gets to eat extra crayons.
My routine will get thrown off; chances are I will forget about supper.
These are just the highlights of what a Kraus House snow day is like. What is a snow day like in your house?

Another Snow “Event”


We had another snow “event” last night. I didn’t even know until I let the dog out this morning. It was only about three quarters of an inch, no big deal. Seriously, I really had no clue there was a chance of snow. We have had a decent amount of snow so far this winter. (I gauge it by how many times my husband has to take the snow blower out…it’s like a small tractor). He’s done it twice.
 

This is from last week’s snow day

I live in New England and I am used to the snow. Driving in snow is a lot different than driving in ice. I’ve spun out on black ice, scariest thing EVER! The people down south are having a very difficult time with their snow/ice “event” and this has nothing to do with what’s going on down there. This is something I noticed today getting ready to and bringing my kids to school today.
This is not complaining; it is observation.
What does (let’s just say) 1 inch of snow do to your morning?

  • The kids keep asking why they don’t have a snow day if there’s snow on the ground.
  • There’s enough snow to stay stuck on a kid’s boots so he can track some through the house while he’s taking out the garbage.
  • Because of the above problem, you end up with cold, wet socks.
  • There’s just enough snow that the car has to be cleaned off.
  • The snow that is getting cleared off the car ends up all over you.
  • There’s not a change in Hell your streets are going to get plowed.
  • The main streets have been sanded (salted?) so the car in front of you makes a mess of your windshield.

That’s all I have for now because I only drove my kids to school and don’t really plan on going anywhere else today (until pick up).
What observations have you made about snow “events”?

The Trouble with 40

 

 

I turned 40 and I know there’s nothing I can do about it. Not to sound bitchy but, I have noticed that I do look better than some people I know that are younger than me. But there are just some things that happen to you once you hit 40 that really suck. I must say I noticed them starting around 35 but by my 40thbirthday, I really hit the skids.
Eyesight-Going, going, gone! I can’t see shit. I can’t read books anymore. I NEED to use my Nook and set the font on elderly, so there are only about 15 lines on the page. If a restaurant is dark, I have no idea what the menu says; and if I have my contacts in, forget it all bets are off. I even bought a pair of reading glasses from the Dollar Store. That’s it, time to train Alabama.
 

Not bad looking for the Dollar Store
Whiskers-WTF is this all about? At least I am still able to look in a mirror and seek those suckers out. I am constantly rubbing and feeling my chin. Then if I feel one, man I hope it’s not while I’m in public. Then all I can think is, “Can everyone see this monstrosity growing out of my chin?” “Do I look like Rip Van Winkle?” God forbid I look into a lighted magnified mirror. Holy shit, who the hell is that and what happened to her chin?
 

I need to get another pair and keep them in my purse for emergency removals
Memory-What was I supposed to write? I didn’t have a good short term memory to begin with, now FORGET IT!! If it’s not written down, it’s not happening. It took me 2 years to make a doctor’s appointment because I simply kept forgetting to do it. I would remember when I was in bed (not going to do me any good then).  I leave the store with only half the stuff I went for, sometimes I even forget when I go with a list. There’s a lot of “Oh shit, …” said around here.
Gas-I’ve never had the best gastro-intestinal system, but now one handful of popcorn at the movies and by the closing credits I can shoot myself out of there like you let the air out of a balloon. I’m just a diverticulitis time bomb waiting to go off. Seriously, just about everyone in my family has is and I’m just waiting for my turn.
Pulled Muscles (for no reason)-I can be sitting at the table NOT MOVING and pull a muscle. It happened during supper; I pulled the entire right side of my back. I wasn’t reaching, lifting or bending, just sitting. Every day I need to stretch my back to where I can tie my own shoes. Sometimes when I want to cross my legs I need to grab onto my pants to pull my leg over.
Oh 40, what have you done to me?

The 9 Most Lost Items in My House


There are items in my house that no matter how hard I try to keep track of, they ALWAYS get lost. I put them in the same spot, but the 30 (sometimes 40) sticky fingers that live here besides me, do not put them back where they belong.
Now if you know me, cool your jets for a second.  I am by far not an organized person, but there are a few items I keep in specific spots because I KNOW THEY GET LOST; and those are the things that keep disappearing.
Brushes/Combs  These SHOULD be in the drawer in the bathroom. If you open that drawer all you will find are bobby pins. The girls have their own brushes with sparkly initials on them, we can only find one. The other three brushes, not sure. I went and bought myself a new brush that I keep in my room, away from everyone. I buy ten packs of combs and right now the only one I have found is one that a child (not the dog) has chewed.
Tools  Don’t look for a tool you fight need in the Kraus House; you won’t find it anytime soon. We had a tool box at one point in our life; I’m not quite sure what happened to that. Now if there is a project planned that might require a tool, a search party is sent out to find the necessary tools before such project begins.
Tape Measure  This falls in line with the tools. This also goes for my sewing tape measure, one should be in the sewing machine table and one should be in my sewing box, they should not be upstairs under a bed or be used as jump ropes.
 

Tape measure…safe and sound for now

Shoes  The girls are not as bad at this and Young Thaddeus, he is the main offender of this travesty. It has gotten to the point where he needs to pay me to find his shoes, especially when it is 30 seconds before we are walking out the door.  It is not uncommon for one shoe to be downstairs and the other to be upstairs. He’s a boy, I’m told they’re supposed to do that.
 

We haven’t seen the left one in a couple of weeks

Pens/Pencils  I should say pencils that work. The quality of pencils is shit. I have said this for years and any teacher will tell you the same thing. I have a super snazzy pencil sharpener so I know it’s not that. It seems the pencils all disappear or break as soon as it’s time to do homework. My pens all mysteriously vanish when I am trying to take a message or write a list, even though there is a giant cup to hold several of them.
 

Only three of those pencil work

Socks  It is amazing how socks disappear in this house. I keep single socks separate. I started doing it so I could find the match, then I kept doing it to see how many didn’t have a mate. One day Stella and I counted 48 socks that didn’t have a match. What the Hell happened to them? As I walk through the house at night I pick up lonely, rogue socks but I put them in the hamper. They all eventually get washed, why aren’t they getting reunited? It’s driving me insane!!!
Nail Clippers/Nail File  Whenever I need them, I can’t find them. I keep the nail clippers in the giant pencil cup. In order to see the clippers, someone needs to go deep. I have a strong suspicion on who pilfs the clippers, but what happens to my nail file? No one is lounging around filing their nails.
Hair Elastics  I buy these by the gross. When I find them, I hoard them. Stella always wants a ponytail or braids…then stop losing all the elastics! I noticed that several of the Barbies were rocking some ponytails, once and elastic is in there, it’s not coming out.
Broom/Dust Pan  Sounds strange that these things would go missing, but they do quite often. I go to get the broom and poof, it’s gone. Then I wander around looking in all the corners it could be stashed in until I find it. All is well until I’m done and go to get the dust pan and guess what, that’s gone too. Luckily it’s usually in the vicinity of where the broom was found (most of the time).
So these are the things that get lost in my house most often. What disappears in your house?

7 Reasons Teddy is Awesome


Today is Teddy’s birthday, so in honor of his seventh year; I’m writing 7 reasons why he is so awesome.
His Size– Let’s face it, the kid is a beast. He’s far from an averaged sized seven year old. As of right now he weighs 99 pounds and is four foot 9 inches tall. He may run like a Great Dane puppy, but he skates pretty well. If you need someone to cuddle with, Teddy’s your guy.

The giant Teddy leaving the NICU.
His Willingness to Cuddle-He may be turning seven, but as soon as he gets up in the morning, he comes and sits next to me (as close as he possible can). We sit and share a blanket and he will even still sit on my lap (for as long as my legs can take it).
 

First haircut

His Love of the Ladies-He is a ladies’ man. Rumor has it, he was given an ultimatum; he needs to choose a girlfriend by second grade. From my last count there were five ladies in the running.
 

Squeezable cheeks

He Wants to Be Healthy– He is very into exercising and eating healthy. The only vegetable he doesn’t like is artichokes (he HATES them, so much you can’t even say the word). Teddy has me tape shows on TV and he will do exercise routines right in the living room, until he works up a sweat.
Everyone poses on ladders
He Stands up for Others– He WILL NOT let anyone be mean to any of his friends. One time a third grader knocked down one of his friends and he demanded the kid apologize. His rule, don’t pick on someone smaller than you, come pick on me.
 

Undoing some buttons for the playground

Determination/Competitive Edge– Teddy wants to win and he will not quit until he is good enough to do it. When he started hockey last year, he was determined to be as good as the kids in the black shirts; this year he’s one of them. Kraus’ don’t quit!
 

Fashion flair

His Heart– Along with his huge body, Teddy has the biggest heart. He is always concerned with everyone’s feelings. If someone falls, he’s the first one there to see if they’re OK and to help them up. He is truly friends with everyone.
 

Teddy’s cake breakfast

Happy Birthday Teddy Bear!!!

10 Reasons I Should Live in a Hotel


Chuck Bass lived in one and so did Serena for a while. Hell, Eloise lives in the Plaza so why can’t I? I’ve come up with reasons why I should live in a hotel.

1. I love fresh, clean sheets but I’m not changing them every other day. 

2. I want someone to clean for me; we know I’m not going to do it for myself.

3. My meals could be delivered right to my door, no more having to cook.

4. A gym is right in the building. I wouldn’t have to get in the car and drive (not that I go,        but maybe I would if it was right in the building).

5. They have an indoor pool so I could swim drink by the pool in any kind of weather.

6. They have 24 hour porn channels.

7. There would be a spa downstairs. If I wake up and something hurt, I could go down          and get it massaged better.

8. Security to keep out the riffraff and a bellhop to send up my stuff, I wouldn’t have to           carry anything anymore.

9. The concierge can get anything.

10. Mini-bars, it’s build it portion control.

I think I have found the one I want to live in. I may have to pack up and move into a Platinum Suite at the Mira Hotel in Hong Kong. We can all keep in touch through social media.

There’s not a snowball’s chance in Hell I would ever have the available funds to support this pipe dream (and I was kidding about #6).

10 Things I Miss About My Kids Being Little


As my kids get older they are much more independent opinionated. Along with that they feel the need to express their frustrations with each other both verbally and physically.  They are 7, 6, and 5 and am well aware it is only going to get worse. 
I have made a list of some things that I miss about them being younger.

1. I picked the outfits without arguments.

The girls still fit in the skirts 3 years later (I wish I fit into clothes from 3 years ago)


2. They got along much better.

They always gave each other kisses

3. I can put them in their playroom and they would be locked in there.

4. They couldn’t argue about what was on TV.

5. Moose A. Moose’s zippy little songs (too bad him and Zee were “fired”), this one
    was my favorite.

6. I chose the Halloween costumes.

Now it takes some hard core mind tricks to get them to be what I want

7. They were in strollers when we went shopping so no one wandered off or lagged 
    behind and I had a place to put all my stuff.

We had 2 strollers so we had plenty of room for stuff (they’re holding hands)

8. No fighting over tablets, phones, or videogames.

We could lock them in there for hours, they would even fall asleep on the floor

9. They weren’t as mouthy or foot stompy.

10. They would play together without a fist fight breaking out.

Be Kind, Please Rewind


I was looking through the guide on the TV and flipped out when I saw the The Burbs was on. I immediately changed the channel and was watching it and my kids kept asking questions. My daughter asked, “Why do you keep shushing me?” To which I replied, “Because this is one of my favorite movies EVER!!”
That got me thinking about the movies I watches in the 80s over and over again. This was the time long before DVRs, when you went to the video rental STORE or you had to set the VCR. Back then, three movies could fit on one VHS tape (if you didn’t buy it), then had to find a way to store them. I made a list (an extensive list) and shocked myself, how did I have time to do anything else?
 

Santa had to bring extra storage

There are several more that I’ve watched, but not repeatedly.
If you ever roamed the aisles of Major Video, you will recognize the titles on my list.
In no particular order, movies that rotted my brain in the 80s (and I can still say the lines while it’s on)…

  1. The Burbs
  2. Raising Arizona
  3. Uncle Buck (My oldest is named after the little girl in the movie)
  4. Princess Bride
  5. Milo & Otis
  6. The Goonies
  7. A Christmas Story
  8. One Crazy Summer
  9. Better Off Dead
  10. Pee Wee’s Big Adventure
  11. Weird Science
  12. Adventures in Babysitting
  13. Beetlejuice
  14. Weekend at Bernie’s
  15. Caddyshack
  16. Girl’s Just Want to Have Fun
  17. Heathers
  18. The Great Outdoors
  19. Harry and the Hendersons
  20. Lucas
  21. Major League
  22. The Money Pit
  23. Raiders of the Lost Ark
  24. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
  25. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
  26. Footloose
  27. Back to the Future
  28. Gremlins
  29. Planes, Trains and Automobiles
  30. Rocky III
  31. Night of the Comet
  32. Popeye
  33. Mommie Dearest
  34. Airplane II: The Sequel
  35. Clash of the Titans
  36. Tootsie
  37. Short Circuit
  38. Mannequin
  39. Some Kind of Wonderful
  40. Sleepaway Camp
  41. When Harry Met Sally
  42. Steel Magnolias
  43. Swamp Thing
  44. Commando
  45. The Lost Boys
  46. Police Academy
  47. About Last Night
  48. Back to School
  49. Max Dugan Returns
  50. Mr. Mom
  51. Overboard
  52. River’s Edge
  53. Wildcats
  54. Vacation
  55. European Vacation
  56. The Outsiders
  57. Peggy Sue Got Married
  58. Revenge of the Nerds
  59. Romancing the Stone
  60. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
  61. Just One of the Guys
  62. Summer School
  63. Karate Kid
  64. Who’s That Girl
  65. Spaceballs
  66. Trading Places
  67. Can’t Buy Me Love
  68. Strange Brew
  69. Space Camp
  70. Pretty in Pink
  71. Grease 2
  72. The Breakfast Club
  73. St. Elmo’s Fire
  74. Spies Like Us
  75. Ghostbusters
  76. Die Hard
  77. Fletch
  78. Stand By Me
  79. Airplane
  80. The Empire Strikes Back
  81. Return of the Jedi
  82. Coming to America
  83. Beverly Hills Cop
  84. Clue
  85. Mask
  86. Poltergeist
  87. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
  88. The Golden Child

Some of these are questionable and I think back and wonder, “What was I thinking?”
There is another list of movies that I have never seen front to back (Scarface being one of them) but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the entire movies.

Random Thoughts This Holiday Season

 

 

I have many random thoughts throughout the day (a lot of them are about commercials) some appropriate and some very inappropriate (I usually text those thoughts to Mimi so I can brighten her day or completely gross her out). These are rated G, well one may be PG-13.
Staticy hair doesn’t seem to annoy kids as much as adults.
Give kids a tablet or iPad and they will leave you alone for hours.
Why is it that when people are about to burn something in a fireplace on TV, they stand there and look at the fire for what feels like forever. Just toss it in and be done with it.
If you can’t find something fabulous to make on Pinterest, you’re using it wrong.
I probably shouldn’t have showed (taught) Teddy how to play Mercy.
I am eerily intrigued and equally repulsed by WaxVac. Don’t know what it is? Google it and then tell me if you’re intrigued, repulsed or both.
One would think the set designers for the Clapper commercial would have gotten a better shaped Christmas tree.
Stella gets equally excited opening a box full of presents as she does opening actual presents.
It’s never a good idea to put presents under the tree before the 24th.
Stella can say Happy Holidays up to 73 times a day.
Maizie will only talk to the Santa at Bass Pro Shops.
If you tell a Kraus kid they can open a present on Christmas Eve, they will ask ALL DAY until they get to open it.
If Santa’s plate of goodies is not on the mantle, Alabama WILL eat it.
It takes 17 minutes to open all the presents, but over a week for me to get the house back in order.
The neighbors must think we have a big Christmas fight every year. Our tree is on the curb as the neighbors’ visitors are arriving.  (This year with the tree stand still on the tree.)
Don’t leave Maizie, Alabama and a container of dog treats unattended; no wonder she’s so fat.
I can watch Duck Dynasty all day long.
Do not feed a dog a ham bone unless you want to clean up doggy diarrhea all night (thanks Auntie Rey).
Kids don’t realize that the “Big City” (Providence) is only three minutes away.
The only one truly happy about having her own room is Maizie. The other two miss each other.
That kid who found porn on his DS in probably crying because his dad took it away and he didn’t get a chance to show is friends.
I do not like the way to pronounce tiramisu, especially on the Volkswagen commercial. I purposely pronounce it terra-miss-you.
I don’t think I’d be as annoyed with a cow singing in my shower as the TV family is. I’d be posting videos all over You Tube.
The best time for Alabama to score some cold cuts is if I make a sandwich right after an ASPCA commercial.
The first snowfall is like the first kid, it gets all the attention. A late winter storm doesn’t even get shoveled.