Some days I feel like I’m living in a sitcom. The things that happen can’t be real.
Here’s what went down in the Kraus House bathroom the other morning…
Teddy was taking a shower and Stella came into the living room telling me that Teddy said he needed a bowl. In other words, he needed a “throw up” bowl. I relayed to her that he was already in the bathroom and use the toilet (I didn’t think he was actually sick).
She came right back and said he NEEDS a bowl.
Now I need to investigate. I open the bathroom door and he’s standing there, naked and dripping wet. I told him if he’s going to be sick, he’s golden…the toilet is right there. That’s the ultimate “throw up bowl”.
He told me he already got sick, in the shower. I look, I almost got sick. He clogged the drain.
I seriously thought about waking up Ted to take care of this situation for a good 10-15 seconds, I can’t even handle cleaning out the sink after washing the dishes never mind this bio hazard. I decided if I could give birth to that giant baby, I could clean his giant mess.
I noticed my soap was blocking the drain; I wasn’t sticking my bare hand in that shower stew for anyone. I remembered I bought new dish washing gloves the other day, I put them on. I went in and removed the obstruction. As I left the bathroom Stella said, “Well those new gloves are headed straight for the trash.”
Now, Maizie does not handle situations like this well at all. She took a pack of cookies and retreated to the top of the stairs. She was eating an entire package of cookies while using her tablet at 7:30 in the morning on a school day, I didn’t care I had bigger issues to take care of…my tub and a wet, naked kid on the bathroom floor.
Stella, being a giant nose bag, had to see what the scene looked like in the bathroom. I told her to take a look. Maizie was HORRIFIED that she even considered going near the bathroom door, let alone open it.
As she was opening the bathroom door, Maizie is screaming from the stairs, “Don’t do it Stella! Don’t look!” Of course Stella looked.
Stella turned to me, shook her head and said, “Oh-my-God! That’s gross!” I know, I know.
Then Maizie yelled (from her perch), “Teddy, you didn’t throw up on my flip flop did you?” Not, “Are you okay?” or “Do you need anything?”
Once the water drained out, I gloved up, grabbed a roll of paper towels, a Target bag (because everyone has a giant stash of them in their house) and the Clorox spray and went in. I cleaned the sh*t out of that tub. Thankfully we have a removable showerhead and I could spray it directly. I’m not going to say I handled it well, because that’s debatable.
Another problem that popped in my head, I need to take a shower. I didn’t want to go in there after what I saw.
Ted was the one who took the next shower, I didn’t want to be next (I totally would have gone days until someone else went before me). When I was in the shower I went to wash up. I went to grab my soap. It was the soap that was in the shower stew.
How did it get back up there? I left it on the side of the tub so I would remember to get a new bar. There is no way that is touching my body.
Can I reach the sink from the shower to get a new bar of soap without getting the entire bathroom soaked? I don’t care. Ted’s soap makes my skin feel like it’s in a vice and I smell like I’m running through a field, I NEED my soap.
I managed to keep the shower curtain (mostly) closed as I leaned across the bathroom to get a new bar of soap. I immediately tossed that nasty bar! My shower finished successfully.
Please tell me things like this happen in other people’s houses and not just mine!