How Do You Know?

I have had this post “written in my head” for quite some time now. After going to the doctor and facing reality, I decided to put it out there. I have always faced things with humor, mainly because Ted and I laugh about EVERYTHING.
How do you know that you’ve let yourself go? I have come up with some very definite signs that I should get my ass off the couch and start to get into shape. Back in November I wrote a post about how I thought I was becoming a before. Well all doubt has left my mind and I have accepted the fact that I am indeed a before. How do I know? Let me go over the signs.

  • My yoga pants were all too tight. How can yoga pants be too tight. It was to the point that I had to take them off late afternoon and put on pajama pants (ones with elastic that was about to give).
  • My socks were leaving deep dents in my legs. I take prescription water pills so I couldn’t even blame it on water retention.
  • My underwear was leaving unsightly marks in my upper thighs (I won’t mention the VPLs). They were “like a tourniquet”.
  • I couldn’t zip or even pull on some of my pants.
  • My knees would (and still) creek when I walk up stairs.
  • I started to develop pronounced “batwings”. I noticed those at Disney on Ice while waving at characters with Stella.
  • My “long and lean” tank tops would all roll up like I let go of a shade. They would not stay down and I had to resort to tucking them in (such a retirement village look).
  • The only thing that fit me well were my Danskos.
  • I finally got my boots zipped and when I took a step; my calf busted the zipper wide open in the middle.
  • I found a tank top in the back of my drawer that I hadn’t worn in a really long time (I couldn’t remember the last time I actually saw it). I wore it and it fit pretty well. I discovered when I took it off that it was a maternity tank top.

And the worst realization of all…

  • I noticed a FUPA starting.

After I have made all these “self discoveries” I have a physical with my doctor. He tells me, “I have good news and bad news; it all depends on how you wants to take it.” I looked at him. He continues with, “Well your weight gain isn’t from your heart failure, it’s from fat.” I just started laughing, because I knew it was true.
This was taken May 2012 I almost DIED when I saw it. Mimi was trying to convince me I just looked bloated, she’s a bad liar. Sad thing is I fit in my clothes back than. BTW I am NOT pregnant!
I was sent off with a checklist of blood work that had to be done and a new appointment for a few weeks later, to discuss my weight gain; can’t wait for that appointment. I kind of took it as a challenge. I knew I wasn’t going to show up looking like I’m ready to grace the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition, but I didn’t want to go in weighing the same. Or gawd forbid more.
I started to “eat healthy”. Unfortunately that can lead to the less than civilized situations my gastro-intestinal tract has been known to cause. Can’t we all just get along? There’s no need to cause a scene.
I also try to drink more water. That leads to several trips to the bathroom. The mornings I have to take my water pills, I have come dangerously close to forcibly removing my kids from the toilet to avoid a clean up in the hallway.
When I go back to the doctor I find out that I’m a bigger hot mess than I thought and I need to get some help. My blood sugar was high (3rd year in a row) and my cholesterol almost doubled. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!!
Off to a nutritionist I go. Now that it’s getting nicer outside I can walk more (I try to walk the kids to school as much as possible) and I have been doing some challenges. This month is an ab challenge, I’m going to work my six pack so I can put away a 12 pack.

5 thoughts on “How Do You Know?

  1. Hang in there!!! I'm glad your doctor is helping you along the way, and I know the nutritionist will have great info for you as well. I have become my before as well, and my cholesterol is now elevated, so it's time for me to finally put myself first as well. Good luck!

  2. Well, your doctor doesn't beat around the bush, does he? Having the support of a nutritionist will be so helpful when you make your changes. Enjoy? Good luck? Got milk? I clearly don't know how to end this comment.

  3. Omg I love that you just laughed off the good news and bad news! I can totally relate after having baby number 3. Nothing fits but even with any kind of weight gain it doesn't happen overnight so it takes time to take it off. At least it's only march and not July! We both have time on our side 🙂 can't wait to read about your progress mama!

  4. I'm 6 months pregnant so at this point I can't offer any advice, but I'm sure I'll be feeling pretty BLAH come June when the baby is on the outside, its summer, and I can't pack on a bunch of clothes to cover up. Here is to new beginnings. Be well!

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