Shopping With Teddy

I took Teddy shopping for school clothes today. Sounds easy or so one would think, if he was normal size. If you have seen Teddy you are aware he is not average hence the nickname Sasquatch. I have to have him try on every pair of pants to figure out which size to buy. Now back when Stella was a baby she had a big rump and we used to call her Stella Kardashian and as she grew, she lost her rump. Good news, it has been found, Teddy has been keeping it safe. Trying to get that ass into a pair of size 8 pants is quite a feat therefore we bought size 10 (for a five year old).
Not only is finding which size he is a pain in the ass, finding anything besides of jeans (hundreds of styles and colors) and uniform pants was a chore. Teddy likes cargo pants, if he was a size 6, he would have had a vast selection to choose from, but for some reason all the stores seemed to have were cargo shorts, oodles and oodles of cargo shorts as far as the eye could see. If we lived in Florida I could justify buying them; but here, it could be 40 degrees by September 15th, you never know. Why can’t the stores put out pants for back to school, they have no problem putting the Halloween stuff out, in August.
His shoe size is also huge and lots of times he looks like a he’s wearing clown shoes if he doesn’t have on sneakers. So a shoe hunt is also on our agenda. I decided to try Off Broadway Shoes. He tries on a pair and he looks like he’s going snorkeling, of course he’s also hearing those ridiculous peds which were black and just looked wrong to begin with. Finally he finds a pair of boots, excellent he now has sneakers and boots, and he’s done for shoes! We go to pay for the shoes and as I’m paying I smell this horrible smell. At this point I’m hoping it’s Teddy because if not then I’m embarrassed for the cashier because if it’s her, she may have to go home early. As we’re walking out of the store I turn to Teddy and ask him, “Did you boof in there?” He smiled and proudly said that he did. Then I thought, I hope she didn’t think it was me.
He doesn’t have the shopping stamina that Maizie has and he really started to get tired, I could really tell after he ripped ass in the shoe store that he was starting to lose it, but there was still much to do. After going to the other mall he was done, so I asked him if he wanted me to take him home before I went to the grocery store and since I told him he couldn’t get in the cart, he was all for it. So our day went pretty well, we were able to find ample amounts of shirts, that’s okay he doesn’t really like wearing pants anyway.

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