Kid’s say some dandy things. Stella seems to say them all the time. If I were to write them all it would look like a capital case transcript, so I’ll stick with some recent gems.
|The mouth of the house
Teddy has been on a candy binge since Thursday night. It’s finally gone and I think he’s going through detox (it’s been 3 minutes since his last fix and he’s getting the shakes). He came in and asked for graham crackers. I told him to eat an apple. He asked why. Stella said, “You don’t want to be the sad fat kid.”
A Bob’s Furniture commercial came on for a marble topped bar.
Stella: Is that a bar?
Stella: I need that for my room.
Me: (exasperated) What?
Stella: I can put all my candy in it.
Stella and I were in line at Walmart today and she pointed to one of the “scandal mags” and said, “Oh my God, look at the size of her fanny! That is one plump rump.” (She was pointing at Kim Kardashian’s Instagram pic)
Fast forward 6 hours…
I was folding laundry and she picked up a pair of my underwear and put it on over clothes. She then proceeded to go on and on about my ginormous underwear and fanny.
I told her the bigger the fanny, the bigger the brain. She then said, “Well that girl on the magazine must be really, really smart.”
Walking to school, practicing smiles for picture day. Teddy showed his smile.
Stella: (to Teddy) You look like you’re pooping.
Teddy: (to Stella) You’re the one who showed me how to smile.
Stella: I didn’t show you that.
Teddy: I don’t have any teeth, I don’t want the holes to show.
Stella: The holes would look much better than that.
Teddy: What’s the T word?
Me: What word? (Trying to look at what he’s reading)
Me: (Trying not to fall apart) That’s not what it says. Where did you hear that word?
Stella: I made it up! Is it a bad word?
Me: It’s not a nice word and you shouldn’t say it, especially at school.
Stella: OK…tit, tit, tit!
Things like these fly out of Stella’s mouth all the time. For up to the minute Stella-isms follow The Kraus House Mom on Facebook.