10 Everyday Annoyances in My Life

Let’s see how many of these annoy you as well.
Ask me to get you something as soon as I sit down, after I already asked you if you needed anything else. You can’t tell me you suddenly had to have a drink. What happened to the one you had less than 3 seconds ago? I asked you if you wanted a spoon or a fork, you can’t change your mind now that I sat down, TOO LATE.
Spread germs on me. Really, I don’t get enough of your germ as it is? You find it absolutely necessary to sneeze or cough right in my face? Let me tell you, if I get sick, you’re going to be the most unhappy…If Mommy’s not happy, NOBODY’S happy.
Go ahead; keep talking while I’m watching my show. I don’t constantly talk to you while you’re watching your precious shows nor do I stand in front of the TV. It should not take me 68 minutes to watch a 30 minute DVRed show.
Dramatic pauses, just tell me what you want. Be a man, spit it out. Don’t stand there playing with your hands, I have a very short attention span…you’re going to lose me.
Personal space, give me mine. If the entire couch is available you don’t have to sit so close that you pin my arm to my side and going to the bathroom is not a group activity.
Asking for a snack (every 15 minutes). If you ate the meals I gave you, when I gave them to you maybe you wouldn’t keep asking me for food all day long. By the way, when I do give you a snack don’t take two bites then say “I don’t like it” or “I don’t want it now” because that’s a shortcut to crazy mom, you just told me you wanted that.
Barking at every little noise. I understand it’s your job to alert the entire neighborhood of your presence, but I don’t think the leaves and the bushes care. The cats in the neighborhood go under our bushes to taunt you. Oh and thank you for busting your head through the screen, I’m just wondering why you didn’t jump out after the cat?
Please don’t touch that. Four words that just don’t register into the brains of the my kids. It has been repeated thousands of times, it has been yelled (sometimes while something is being thrown) but it doesn’t seem to matter. There are times I wish I could hook up a low volt battery to shock them when they touch something after asking twice.
Woe is me and “inside” Facebook posts.Do you post them so you can get sympathy from others? Do you want people to ask what’s wrong? If you have a problem, just say it; from what I’ve seen people are more than willing to help. Also, if something is such a big secret or the “you know who you are” ones are involved, use the phone, text or email. Don’t post on Facebook!  
Internet picture lists. They make you scroll back up once you click to the next picture. Once in a while if you go all the way to the end there is a spot where you can click to see the pictures all on one page and just scroll down, but that rarely happens. I frequent celebrity gossip pages and they have a lot of articles that feature “what they wore” or “where are they now” and those are the ones I’m definitely going to read (who are we kidding, look at the pictures). When you get the picture centered enough to get the full effect, you go and click “next image” and BAM…back to the top again. I swear they do it just to piss me off.

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